How to choose a coach

Any idea how many coaches there are in the UK?  No, me neither.  Estimates vary from one big number to a lot of even bigger numbers.  And those big numbers don't seem to tally with the estimates for the number of coaches globally (unless the UK is the Coaching Capital of the World...which I don't think it is).  Whatever the real number, it's big enough to make choosing a coach either really easy, or irritatingly complex (depending on how you make decisions).

As a coach (and, importantly in this context, an INFP) it's difficult to write about how to choose a coach without the fear that someone reading it will think it's cynical self promotion.  Maybe at some unconscious level it is, but I was never particularly good at marketing so I think I'm at low risk of facing an ethical dilemma.

Putting that aside, why does it interest me?  First, I've always been, and remain, fascinated by how people make decisions about themselves in their professional lives.  Second, I have lots of first-hand subjective experience of why people choose a coach (though, of course, much less of why people look at this website and think ‘nah’).  Third, ego.  A lot of us believe that the work we do is important, that it has impact and effects change.  I'm no different.  Coaching does have impact and does drive change.

So back to those big numbers.  I'm only looking at work-related coaching ('business', 'executive', 'leadership' for example) so take out the life/finance/relationship coaches and the number drops.  But it's still going to be a big number.  How do you choose which one is right for you?

For people whose employers think have the potential to benefit from a coach, the decision usually doesn't need to be made because it’s made for them.  They don’t have to choose, and they don't have to pay. For the rest of us (high disposable-income people aside), it’s a balance between payment and the potential for significant benefit.

Buying any personal service from an individual human is qualitatively different from buying anything else; and selecting a coach is even more nuanced.  You might, for example, engage a personal trainer to change your body shape, but you’re likely to have a good idea how they will approach it.  And you won’t expect your trainer to float the option of buying larger clothes instead of putting in the physical effort.  Good coaching can take you anywhere and could raise alternatives that neither you nor the coach have already thought of (though, personally, I’ve always considered buying myself bigger clothes a legitimate option).

How to choose a coach

However you make decisions (the two most used simple methods being to give points to each factor a coach has, or to prioritise the factors and then see who has the most matches from the top down), here are some of the factors you might want to consider.

Coaching experience

Do you want someone with thousands of hours of coaching ticked off across hundreds of clients or could you take a chance on someone just starting out?  Think about what matters to you, but do think it through fully.  I had a minor medical issue which two very experienced consultants came to the same conclusion about:  you’ll just have to live with it.  I was then prodded into seeing another.  She was younger and much less experienced but enormously enthusiastic and didn’t give up until she had found the answer.

Niche

Most coaches can work across a wide range of people in a huge variety of situations.  But a lot of them will have a sweet spot which especially interests them.  If you want to improve your effectiveness at work, most management or executive coaches will be able to help you.  But if you have a specific issue (imposter phenomenon, lack of confidence or effective communication for example) then focus on the coaches that see that as their niche.  They’ll go deeper, quicker.

Training

Someone I used to work with attended a weekend coaching training course with 10 others at a plush hotel in Spain.  On Friday night he wasn’t a coach.  On Sunday night, he was.  A while ago a friend told me about a very successful headhunter who, after the last downturn, simply rebranded himself as a coach.  One day his profile was recruitment, the next day it was coaching.

Both of these people might have become brilliant coaches (in reality they both went back to their former jobs very quickly) but why take the risk?  No training is no training.  And two days is no training plus two days (though I bet the food was great).

Methodology

Some coaches love to talk about their chosen methodology, it’s important to us.  But at this stage, it really shouldn’t be important to you.  Any one of the wide range of methodologies in use by coaches will be plausibly promoted by those coaches as the best (possibly only) method to get results.  They aren’t.  The only thing that matters is how the coach uses the methodology (or, more usually, a mix of methodologies based on their experience).  Think human, not technique.

Age

I’ve included age because in this context it’s not congruent with experience.  You can have older coaches with less experience than much younger ones.  This factor is all about you.  Do you feel more comfortable talking to someone your own age, or someone older or younger…or maybe you just don’t care.  Remember that you are going to be spending many hours talking to your coach about quite personal issues.  If age is likely to be a factor, use it as a filter.

Non-coaching experience

Good coaches can work with anyone in any occupation.  They work with the human not their job title.  Having said that, some people do prefer to work with a coach who has had direct experience in their function, or simply an extensive non-coaching career history.  In some areas (coaching professional medical staff for example), it can be quite important.  In others, the benefits of both coach and client having common knowledge of an industry or function can be outweighed by the coach bringing their own assumptions about the industry or function into play and the sessions veering from coaching to mentoring.  If you want a mentor, don’t get a coach.

Gender

Rather like age, this is another factor that’s about you, not the coach.  If you prefer to work with a woman, cut out the male coaches and vice versa.  If you don’t care either way, cut this one from your list entirely.  But do give it some thought first because, like age, it might affect your ability to have a sufficiently comfortable relationship with your coach that allows you to be completely transparent.

Cost

Be quite blunt about this.  Think about how much in total you are prepared to spend on coaching and then divide it by six.  Divide it by six because six seems to be the accepted industry standard for an average number of coaching sessions.  But industry standards are just standard and who wants standard?  Some coaches will give more in three sessions than others in 10 but cost isn’t going to be the factor that helps you find out who they are.

Testimonials

You’re a human buying a human.  Find out what other humans have to say about them.  Caveat though, some coaches do not ask for testimonials and some coaches work with people who, for perfectly good reasons, do not want to give them.  Testimonials are great if they’re there, but don’t assume anything negative if they are not.

Location

As with age and gender, this is another ‘you’ factor.  Do you feel a need to have in-person meetings with your coach?  Do you think you will be more comfortable on video?  It’s entirely your choice and most coaches will be able to accommodate either (as long as you are in roughly the same geographical area).  Almost as an aside, don’t discount the increasingly unfashionable phone call.  In the early stages of a coaching relationship, I value phone calls as they cut out any physical or visual distraction, allowing the engagement to be wholly driven through words and listening.  Possibly for other reasons, you might want to consider them as well.

Delivery

Different to methodology, most coaches have practices that are part of their standard coaching delivery.  They might believe that each session should last no more than 50 minutes or they might let them run until a point of progress has been reached.  They might specify sessions at a certain frequency or they might take them as and when.  Some offer support (text, phone, email) between sessions, some don’t.  Some charge for late cancellations, some want payment up front.  A few offer ability-to-pay schemes or no payment if there is no agreed benefit.  Some coaches record all sessions (but only with your approval) so notetaking doesn’t disrupt the conversation flow.  There are probably other housekeeping points that I’ve missed and possibly none of these are important to you, but it’s worth checking to see if any are.

Personality

Possibly the hardest and definitely the most important factor (along with training) to consider.  I cannot overemphasise that you will be wasting your money on coaching if you don’t accept that it will take effort and honesty on your part to make it successful.

Given the nature of coaching, you’ll only be able to sustain that if you’re working with your coach in a state of harmony and trust.  Trust is needed because the coaching is likely to be uncomfortable at times and harmony is essential because any personal distraction from the coaching itself is likely to degrade the outcomes.

You don’t have to pick a coach you think you will like, but you do have to rule out anyone you don’t think you’ll be able to engage with.  Some people respond really well to the uber expert type, for example, while others find them joyless or dry.  Some people prefer to work with coaches who wear their hearts on their sleeves, while others find them cloying.  Coaches are human too so they come in as many different types as their clients.

Try thinking of the people with whom you could discuss anything and not feel any friction.  Then look for a coach that seems to match.  I say seems to because that’s not the sort of thing you are likely to pick up from their profiles or websites, but you should be able to from their discovery sessions (assuming they offer them with no charge).

The discovery session is a vital part of your selection process.  Most of the factors above will be publicly available, but some will only be revealed by talking to them and asking questions.  And during that process, you should get a good idea of what sort of pesonality they have and whether that matches what you are looking for.  If you get to the end of the session and you don’t think ‘I’d really like to talk to them again’ then there’s a strong possibility that it’s not the right match.

You might think that this is a bit banal, that feeling you want to talk to someone is not as important as their experience or methodology or specialism, but it is.  Coaching is entirely conducted via honest, transparent conversation.  If there is no initial level of engagement, little else is likely to follow.  Grab the discovery session and make the most of it.